3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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