One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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