Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Please don't give away my fajitas
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
