i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
