is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
