Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
