I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
