Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
