But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
