My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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