Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Randomize
