so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
