I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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