ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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