I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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