if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
