I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
