Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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