Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Randomize
