girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
