No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
