ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
i need some magic done to my vagina
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
