? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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