dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
