I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
