did you get engaged???
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
