She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
