I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
