4 words: hood of his car
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I can't put those talents on a resume
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
