I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
