it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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