Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
