im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
