she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
