Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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