found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
