You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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