There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
