And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
