I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
