don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
