We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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