she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
