I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
