I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize