we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He kissed a someone with a penis
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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