Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Sext me about skeletons
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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