wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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