Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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