i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
