Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
