You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
