You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
