this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
