Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
