So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
