you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
