and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you traded sex for a burrito?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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