Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
