Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
