If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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