if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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