Christians are straight up FREAKS
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Randomize
